Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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