You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
