i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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