I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
