I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You can't just leave with hair like that
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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