he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
worst night to have a conscience
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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