I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize