I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm just crazy horny about you
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
