Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize