She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
