she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
