Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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