but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
