dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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