Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
