you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize