Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she woke up with a sticky ear
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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