Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
