You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize