We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
