Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
