the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
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