me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
