I queefed so loud it echoed.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
