A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
