like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
