he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
