I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
