I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Randomize
