Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
sex in a hospital.. check
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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