mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
