Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
