well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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