i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
