her vagine was all disorganized.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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