I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
