i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
