i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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