He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize