If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
