Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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