Me too!
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
