it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
