It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Panties = found
Randomize
