Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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