Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
