The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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