it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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