well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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