if you like me you must not know who I am
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
