she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
