He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Randomize
