just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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