fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
it hurts more in the daytime
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
