Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
