the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize