I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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